Ah! My Space Goddess! Chapter 7: The last Gravium mine

[the_riffing_academy]

[We open on Gio and Sherry in a panic, trying to explain to Peorth that Belldandy and Keiichi are at the Academy. Peorth is keeping Gio and Sherry from falling to pieces and succeeding, more or less.]

Keiichi: Oh, man, what’d we do?

Peorth: Nothing, nothing…I’m just here on a consultation contract, and, believe it or not, these are my clients.

Keiichi: *gesturing to Gio and Sherry* These two here?

Belldandy: They greeted us like they recognized us. Have we met before?

Peorth: No, they’ve just heard of you.

Keiichi: We’re famous? Uh-oh. Famous how?

[The Superstars collect themselves, Gio steeling himself first.]

Gio: Yo, you and the whole Nekomi crew are famous!

Sherry: Yeah! You’re a real miracle romance! We try to be your spitting image!

Belldandy: *smiling, laughing* My! How flattering!

Keiichi: *embarrassed* Oh, man. I don’t know if that’s the safest thing. If you guys really know us so well, you’ve gotta know what a tall order that can be.

Peorth: They can handle those lofty ambitions, I assure you. I owe them my safety while I’m here!

Gio: Yep! *striking a pose* Leave it to an action hero! The name’s Giovanni Escudero, but they know me from here to Belle Woods as Star Caliber!

Sherry: *following suit* And a top-class heartthrob! I’m Sherry Vivaldi. I’m one of his partners. They call me Star Passion. *bowing* I’m a singer, too! Teach me how to sing like you sometime!

[Gio gives Keiichi an excited grin that Kei kind of sheepishly returns, while Belldandy pleasantly receives Sherry and gets her to stand back up straight again. Then it hits Bell…]

Belldandy: Peorth, you mentioned this was due to a contract?

Peorth: They were afraid they “Morisato’d” me when they wished for help whenever a story involving us came across their desk. It’s really no trouble.

Keiichi: *taken aback* Wow. Maybe you really are our spitting image.

Gio: Speakin’ of…Peorth, does this meetup gotta do with that… *quiet, through grit teeth* …ystem-say orce-fay?

Peorth: Oh, say it normally! It’s not as if remarking on its existence makes it suddenly kick in! It’s always running!

Gio: *muttering* Oh, sure. That makes me feel way better.

Belldandy: Excuse me. Gio? Sherry?

[The two suddenly snap to like they’ve been hit with static electricity. They relax when Bell looks them in the eyes without any sort of ill will or offense.]

Belldandy: You really shouldn’t worry. Wishes aren’t really designed to run over one another; it would be terribly hard for any wishes to stay granted at all if that was the case. The System Force is much more sophisticated, and far more subtle, than you might think.

Sherry: So yours, to be with one another forever…

Gio: And ours, for help with these riffs and this whole mini-Yggdrasil thing…

Sherry: They can coexist without us having to do anything?

Peorth: I think by now it’s clear the answer to that should be “yes.” You do raise a good question, though. I mean, not that it’s not useful to have more goddesses around as this contract keeps getting more complicated, but…exactly why are you two here, anyway?

Keiichi: *sheepishly laughing* Oh, that’s funny. Whirlwind’s gonna be working with this prodigy named “Ricky O’Day” and the motor company his family runs…

Gio: Whoa! So Ricky’s in on this? …oh, yeah! This must be Project Harrier! That record street bike thing! Guessin’ you guys got the mechanical bits – them golden fingers ya got with machines are gonna come in way handy – and Ricky’s focusin’ totally on aero and electronics.

Keiichi: Yeah, that’s the idea. He said he wanted to put the record attempts in my hands on the Riffing Academy’s main service road – I mean, I guess it’s a road, it’s more like a runway.

Gio: Fella’s responsible for the whole motor pool ‘round here. Stunt vehicle fleets, pyrotechnics, you name it, we got it!

Sherry: …oh, I get it! The better you guys are doing, the easier it is for you two to stay together.

Belldandy: I hadn’t thought about it that way, but it does make a lot of sense.

Sherry: I probably don’t need to tell you this, then, but this O’Day Motors contract will open up a ton of doors for you. For all of you.

Gio: And if you feel like you wanna learn more stuff and open more of them doors, hit us up! This is a studio, bro. Film school with a major in comedy and rudeness! Wanna make somethin’ of it? You say the word, and we’ll treat y’all right, yo!

Keiichi: …yeah, I’ll think about it!

Belldandy: I’d love to spend more time with you all.

Keiichi: We gotta get going. See you!

[Kei and Bell walk off.]

Peorth: Well then! Now that we’ve been properly introduced, we should really get back to work. I’ll start this time. Last time on Ah! My Space Goddess…

Gio: Wrecker wrecked more stuff! Like an executive’s face, a meeting, and the idea of Keiichi doing anything stealthy. With three gravium mines blown up, two left and one non sequitur in Skuld gettin’ stuck on an asteroid, Sir Captain Keiichi Future Morisato The First, Esquire is on his way to one of these two other mines. Wrecker seems to know every move he makes and Keiichi’s in hot pursuit. Oh yeah, and there’s the bombshell bein’ dropped about how everyone in this fic is not any of the Nekomi crew or Heaven. That’s about it, ain’t it?

Peorth: More or less. …say, shouldn’t you be talking more? No discussion starter, no…cutting remarks?

Gio: Blugh. There ain’t much to say when it’s one of these ones. Like, sometimes you’ll just riff a chapter that’s fulla openings and possible punchlines but…don’t say much as a fic. Filler happens, even in fanfics, know what I’m sayin’?

Peorth: Sure. I’m familiar. *waving a Dobon volume* “Filler happens,” indeed. That can’t be right, though. This is a school, after all, and if I’m to advise you, then you need to learn a lesson. But where…?

Sherry: Insights, huh? Okay, here’s one: maybe it’s not filler, per se, but sometimes you’ll get stretches of story where not a lot happens that’s wrong, and I think it’s where you really show what you’ve got as a riffer. Think about it: it’s just you and the fic, and pure jokes. This is where you really learn if you’re cut out for this, am I right?

Peorth: And do you think you are?

Sherry: Sure! I mean, we didn’t make dead air, did we? That’d be even worse than jokes not landing.

Peorth: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That seems fair enough. Well then…shall we?

Gio: Let’s rock!
***
[The riffers file into the theater and take their seats.]

First of all, I want to clarify that this is a fanfic adaptation work mixing with the pulp comics series "Captain Future",

Gio: Them pulp comics with no panels or pictures ‘cept for the cover art.

from1940 Edmond Hamilton and the Japanese anime version from 1979. The main characters have been replaced by their equivalent from oh my goddess

Peorth: Oh, that Skuld, always seven feet tall and made of metal. Just like Urd always shapeshifting into other people; exactly as I remember!

and the two universes have been mixed even if the shading remains about 85% of that of the original novels by Hamilton.

Gio: Presented in collaboration with Mercedes AMG.

This is a work of adaptation, modernization (at 1940, it starts to date a little) and a merge with the ah my goddess universe. Some chapters have been adapted and their fate and the role of some characters have been changed.

Sherry: Results may vary. Not a paid testimonial.

I think I did a pretty good job overall and hope you will enjoy reading it. Besides Edmond Hamilton, I particularly thank Kosuke Fujishima for his work "ah my goddess."

Peorth: I gift you my capital letters as tribute.

For this fanfic I want to explain that nothing would have been possible without the beta reading of Vanagandr therefore thank him with all my heart.

Gio: Shouldn’t you be the one doin’ that? Why do we gotta send the message?

I also thank all those who worked on the series "Captain Flam", which is the French adaptation of the anime series "Captain Future" inspired by the work of Hamilton. Betas

Gio: So they had beta readers for the originals back then, too? Huh! Hamilton was forward-thinkin’!

All

Anime

Books

Cartoons

Comics

Gio: What the –

Sherry: Umm…

Games

Misc

Plays

Movies

TV

All: Go, CATEGORIES!

Sherry: *singing* Captain Category! He’s a hero!

Specific

Anime

Books

Cartoons

Gio: ‘Kay, what specific anime, books, and cartoons?!

Comics

Games

Misc

Sherry: You know, instruction manuals, restaurant menus, legal warnings, miscellaneous.

Plays

Movies

TV

[Everyone gawks]

Gio: So, uh, what the heck was that?

Sherry: Was that just the menu for Fanfiction.net?

Peorth: There were differences. As far as I can recall, the categories are preceded by “Fanfiction” and “Crossovers,” but it was quite close, wasn’t it?

Sherry: Yeah. Should we take this as a bad sign?

Peorth: Allez savoir porquoi. On to the next jokes!

07°)

[Sherry cocks herself sideways slightly, Gio follows along and Peorth subconsciously follows]

Peorth: Um, Sherry?

Sherry: *righting herself* Darn, I got caught.

The last Gravium mine.

Gio: If Tom Cruise goes stompin’ in here with a beard, I’m out!

In space, 3 of the 5 gravium mines have been destroyed by an individual who calls himself "Wrecker".

Sherry: To hide the fact his real name is Sheldon.

Gravium is an indispensable metal which enables space travel, by manipulating the gravitational well around it, in order to move from one planet to the next. As a result, Captain Keiichi organized a meeting with the 5 mine managers to coordinate their efforts

Sherry: Ugh, why are idol collabs so complicated?

try to unmask this Wrecker character, since his identity still remains a mystery.

Gio: So to unmask him, he’s gotta…*gasp* Unmask him?! Ya gotta be kiddin’ me!

Even after he was attacked by the felon, who had two other heavily armed ships as backups,

Peorth: As his data was constantly corrupted and his OS was prone to crashing,

Keiichi managed to neutralize them. But before he had a chance to capture and question the crew, Wrecker remotely detonated them to erase all traces of their existence.

Sherry: He forced them to despawn to keep the framerate high.

The Captain then traveled to one of the last two remaining mines on the planet Mercury, to discover that it has been abandoned, with only Nicholas Verrel, the director, remaining.

Gio: Yo, guys, check this out. Yo momma’s so fat, Popeye’s saves her orders under “Bluto!”

oOo

Gio: Hah! How d’you like that?

"I swear I have nothing to do with this, captain, and I can definite prove it. And if you don't believe me, then make things easier by shooting me on the spot." Verrel said.

Gio (as Keiichi): Shooting you? That must mean…I’m Wrecker!

From the desperation in the director's voice, Keiichi could tell that he was sincere, as he was so overwhelmed by the situation and willing to do anything

Sherry: *belting* –for love, but he won’t do that!

to stop it, even if it meant the loss of his own life. "No, there's no need for that. I trust you mister Verrel. Now, come with us, since it's too dangerous to remain here alone," said Keiichi, sheathing his Proton gun.

Gio (as Keiichi): It’s dangerous to go alone. Don’t take this, it’s mine.

"You're right. There's nothing left for me to do here on my own," admitted the manager.

Sherry: You know, I’m starting to think he got threatened by Wrecker purely for attention.

Then, as they were about to embark on the "Space Goddess" Urd noticed something. "Look! Look at the volcano behind the mine!" she cried.

Effectively the volcano in question was emanating smoke…

Sherry: To announce a new Pope had been elected.

which was rather strange, since there was no volcanic activity on Mercury for millions of years.

Gio: ‘Cept for the mining, which probably broke the crust and made a gap all them fused tectonic plates could finally vent pressure through.

"There are two different vessels in the smoke," said Skuld who saw much better thanks to her electronic eyes.

"Nothing like a few Proton bombs to wake up an old volcano and cause a great eruption.

Peorth: Mmph. I fully expect a fairly mediocre eruption.

Sherry: *singing* The best part of waking up is H-bombs in your cup!

Place the fireworks," said Wrecker who was aboard one of the vessels. The man pressed a button, and bombs hidden in some cavities present under the volcano from a time when dinosaurs still ruled the Earth,

Gio: Man, those are some really old bombs!

exploded at that moment.

Of course, the volcano then fully erupted and the lava began to flow, heading at full speed towards the mine, passing under the protective dome.

"WE MUST GO, BEFORE THE LAVA REACHES US!" Keiichi cried.

"Wait, look at Verrel" Urd said.

Gio: Okay, we’ll watch him get cooked, then we’ll go!

Indeed, the manager walked like a zombie in the direction of the mine,

Gio: *moaning* Braaaaains…

watching the lava start to devour it.

Sherry: *guttural* Cookieeees! Nomnomnomnom…

"All that I have built for years. The work of a lifetime disappearing" lamented Nicholas Verrel, regardless of the danger.

"COME BACK! VERREL, COME BACK!"

Sherry: *singing* Verrel, come back! You’re all I need!

Keiichi cried in running toward him.

Gio: This reboot of Baywatch is weird.

But the director clearly wasn't listening at him. He was so overwhelmed by despair that paid little attention to his surroundings and continued to head towards the mine that was almost entirely engulfed by lava now. "No…. No…. It is not possible…."

Sherry (as Verrel): That thing wasn’t even fully paid off yet!

"COME BACK VERREL! THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO NOW! COME BACK IMMEDIATELY!" yelled the captain who was still trying to reach the manager.

[Sherry a cappellas Chariots of Fire]

Gio: What the heck is he doin’, running through pudding?!

Peorth: What a strange depiction of Zeno’s Paradox.

Only to stop when Skuld's arm reached to grab him and prevent him from going any further.

"Captain. It's too late. I estimate the lava will be on him a few seconds before you." The robot girl said sadly.

Gio (as Keiichi): Wait, doesn’t that mean we’re about to be washed away by lava, too?

Peorth (as Skuld): Details, details!

Indeed, the next moment Verrel was engulfed by lava, perishing alongside with his mine. He was not even aware of his painful death, for his spirit was broken by the destruction of his life's work.

A few minutes later, the whole valley was covered with molten, seething rock.

Gio: Ain’t sure what it’s got to be so mad about, but it’s mad.

Meanwhile, Keiichi who was particularly saddened by the horrible and miserable end of the poor director, vowed that Wrecker would face justice for that tragedy.

Peorth: Just that one. Keiichi actually quite disliked Kerk El.

While the "Space-Goddess" was moving away, he put aside his desire for vengeance and focused on what needed to be done now.

"There is only one mine still operating, Bama.

Sherry: Uh, nobody here’s called “Bama.”

Skuld,

Sherry: There you go!

have you developed the firewall for the computer as I asked you?"

"Yes. I analyzed the data Sayoko provided us concerning piracy of alien fleets.

Gio: Sad. It’s the only way to watch Alien Fleets these days.

Wrecker is by far the best hacker that I have ever seen, but I can fight him. He was trying to hack us while we were on the ground.

Gio: Nuclear bombs are always an essential hackin’ implement.

If he succeeded, we wouldn't be able to taken off, and perish alongside Verrel.

Sherry: Awww, I really wanted to perish alongside Verrel.

I have already installed the first version of the new firewall; however there are still some modifications needed." Answered the metal girl.

"Perfect. When we are on Bama, I want you to immediately send the program to all vessels of the Galactic Patrol currently protecting the planet." Ordered the captain to his sister.

Peorth: Unfortunately for them, Skuld is passing around her ultimate Rickroll.

"No problems captain."

Keiichi's face was grim as he looked down.

"Wrecker scores," he said between his teeth.

Gio (as Keiichi): *seething* He’s such a chick magnet.

"He's destroyed the gravium mines on Mercury, just like the others. Only the Bamean mines are left now."

"Who is Wrecker?" cried Urd.

Sherry: And why is he so dreamy?

"We know now it wasn't Verrel. And Kerk El is dead, too"

"And that leaves four men, one of whom is maybe Wrecker," Keiichi said.

Peorth: What do they do if Wrecker happens to be anyone else working in any of these gravium mines, or part of their executive boards?

Gio: Well, there’s always the giant dartboard.

"Toraichi Tamiya, Hikozaemon Ootaki, Quarus Tull and Orr Libro.

Sherry: *cheesy* Can they get along in the suburbs?

Gio: Wednesdays on UPN!

And they're all on Bama, or on their way there."

"Bama!" rasped the Brain. "Then Wrecker and his base are somewhere there on this world!"

Gio: Figured it out by process of elimination.

Sherry: Scientific!

Captain Keiichi nodded grimly.

"And there too is the greatest menace to the Galaxy. The only remaining source of Gravium now is the great submarine mines of Bama, if they are destroyed, Wrecker wins! "

Keiichi's voice rose like a trumpet calling to battle.

Gio: Yo guys, here’s my Keiichi impression. *a cappellas the traditional Call to Post*

Peorth: Why, it’s uncanny!

"We're rocketing for Bama at top speed! That's where we're going to trap Wrecker!"

oOo

Sherry: Hurry! To the O’s!

Sometime later.

"Freezing out by Raka,

Roasting near the star,

Branched, by the rains of Sigoon's plains,

Sherry: *confused singing* Because I’m a tree, I guess!

It's all a space-man's fun!

Sherry: *soft, stunned* I guess rhyming isn’t…

Tramping old Mars' deserts,

Gio: *singing* I’d rather Lady them instead,

Or sailing Bama's sea,

Or wading the damp Oranean swamp,

Peorth: *singing* Until we get chased off by Shrek!

Oh, that's the life for me!"

Peorth: *standing up, singing* We’re riffers and hecklers,

Gio: *catching on* We’re jokers and cards!

All: Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho!

Sherry: We’re cutthroat comedians,

Gio: We party too hard!

All: Drink up, me ‘earties, yo ho!

Lustily, Urd sang the old space-song as she sat at the controls of the "Space Goddess", racing on through the void. A vast distance had been covered since leaving Mercury.

Sherry: The sad truth is, she’s singing because the radio’s broken.

"You look cheerful" said Skuld, who stood in the control room and had been listening intently.

Peorth (as Skuld): I could hear how happy you looked.

"Indeed. As we go on the offensive against Wrecker, I sing. After all, it's good for the mind, as it reduces our stress.

Sherry: “Ours?”

Gio: Yo, I didn’t vote for you!

And I can do anything humans can, because I'm like them. See?" retorted the cocky shapeshifter.

"I'm not human, yet I could sing better, if I wanted.

Gio: *nasal* I could dance like that. If I felt like it.

I can reproduce any song to perfection" Skuld said.

"But it would be just a reproduction. Just like a computer, you simply repeat a stored record.

Sherry: She left her turntables and cross-faders in her other CPU.

But can you sing by yourself?" Urd teased.

"You call me that again and I'll stop your clockwork for you! I'll —"

"This is not the time to argue, watch where you're going," came the severe voice of Captain Keiichi from behind them, "Start cutting speed! You can't go barging in to a planet like Bama with at the speed of light."

Gio: I mean, ya could, but it’s the kinda thing you can only do once.

Keiichi yawned and stretched his broad shoulders. He had been sleeping until Urd's lusty singing had awakened him.

Sherry: Whether that’s better or worse than an alarm clock you can smash Garfield-style, well, that’s up to you.

He looked over at the Brain. Megum, her serum-case resting on his special pedestal, was staring thoughtfully with her lens-eyes at the great planet and its big moon.

Gio: Megumi, on the other hand…

Peorth: Don’t be so persnickety, she’s clearly letting her understudy do a few lines.

"Orr Libro and the others must be there already, lad," rasped the Brain. "I hope Chihiro and Belldandy have checked on them as you asked."

Sherry (as Belldandy): *pulling out an imaginary dipstick* Your engine’s seized.

Keiichi grinned. "Chihiro would go to any lengths to get in on a scrap. She'll have the dope, never fear."

Gio: She’ll also have the straight skinny, the down low, and maybe even the word on the street.

Upon leaving Mercury, Captain Keiichi had hurled a communicator call to Planet Police Headquarters on Bama,

Peorth: Crashing through its window and getting a very stiff fine.

asking them to keep a close watch on Orr Libro, Quarus Tull and the other two suspects when they arrived.

Gio: Oh, yanno, them other two.

Sherry: Watch, you’re going to get into trouble now that we know they’re all here. *putting on Tamiya’s voice* “ESCUDERO!”

To Keiichi's delight, he had previously learned that two acquaintances of the Police were at Bama. They were Chihiro, interplanetary colonel,

Gio: Keeper of the forbidden secret recipe.

and Belldandy Landore, girl secret agent.

Sherry: Undeniably a spy.

Peorth: Totally a spy, even.

Sherry: Totally.

They had worked with Keiichi and his sisters in the Space Emperor case on Deneph.

"Police Headquarters switched me from Deneph to Bama to investigate the sabotage in the submarine gravium mines here," Chihiro had drawled to Keiichi on the televisor. "And if you're comin' here, Captain Keiichi, this must be the storm-center of the thing."

Gio (as Chihiro): *quasi-Yosemite Sam nonsense* How’s m’new accent grabbin’ ya?

Sherry (as Keiichi): I hate it.

Keiichi had named the four suspects.

"One of them is maybe Wrecker, Chihiro!" he had warned. "Have them all watched when they arrive on Bama."

Sherry: Their view counts are dropping off, and they could use the exposure.

Now, looking toward giant Bama and its big moon, Steroc, Keiichi's eyes twinkled, "It'll be good to see Chihiro again," he said.

"And Belldandy too, huh?" asked Urd slyly. Then he ducked hastily. "Don't blow your rockets, Captain,

[Peorth nervously clears her throat and tugs at her clothing]

I was only doing some harmless kidding."

"Head for Amphitrite in the Rock Isles when we reach the planet, Urd."

Sherry (as Urd): Would it matter what vector we approach on?

Gio: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR VECTOR IS!

Less than an hour later the "Space Goddess" swept down through thin gray evening mists toward the surface of Bama.

Gio: Margera.

That surface emerged as a vast, green tossing ocean,

Peorth: Sailing the Salad Sea.

Bama, wild, mysterious ocean-world. The great planet was covered from pole to pole by a shoreless sea. There were no continents, and the deep sea rolled eternally around this world, swept by awful electric storms,

Sherry: They’re only mediocre, I wouldn’t call them awful…

Gio: They lack polish.

urged by the lunar tides.

There were no continents but there were islands on this sea-covered world, small archipelagoes of rocky islets scattered mostly in the northern hemisphere.

Sherry: The King of Red Lions is down there, Link’s dredging for Triforce shards with a crane…

Upon some of those northern islands existed the scant numbers of the native Bameans, a semi-civilized race.

Peorth: They possess agriculture and complicated social structures, but they’re rude and have no table manners.

And upon one of the islands had been built the interplanetary colonial city of Amphitrite, in which swarmed men of all planets who had come here to engage in fishing in the vast ocean or in the equally dangerous work of excavating, from submarine mines, gold,

Gio: Frankincense and myrrh.

platinum and gravium,

Gravium!

All: Gravium!

Peorth: Mitchell!

Captain Keiichi's face was sober as he stared across the tossing, endless blue waters.

Sherry: Different than those green ones we were just introduced to.

Gio (as Keiichi): Wait, we’re on the wrong planet!

Beneath those waters was now the sole remaining source of gravium in the Galaxy. There was enough gravium here to supply the whole Galaxy for decades, if he could prevent Wrecker from ruining the submarine mines here!

Gio: Let’s hear it for holding off a galaxy-wide disaster for maybe a generation or two!

[Everyone weakly cheers]

"This sabotage is going to stop here," Keiichi vowed silently. "And the man who organized it is going to pay"

"Rock Isles ahead!" sang Urd from the controls.

Sherry: *while Gio air guitars* GOOD EVENING, HONOLULU!

"Head for Amphitrite Island and land in the rocks west of the city," Captain Keiichi ordered.

As they approached, Urd made a remark.

"The readings are sure weak here…"

Gio: *lamely, monotone* In the beginning, there was nothing.

"That's because the gravium ore, along with everything else is underwater," explained Skuld.

"Correct. And also remember that this is the last remaining mine, too," added Megumi.

Sherry: Did you get that, folks? We can repeat it if you’re still unsure!

Through the gray evening mists, a cluster of small rocky islands became visible in the vast, rolling sea.

Peorth: Rocks, rocks, and more rocks! This fanfic does love its rocks!

Sherry: *singing* Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!

Gio: Gravium’s more a coworker.

Upon the largest isle of the archipelago rose the city Amphitrite. It had been built of green native stone.

Peorth: Which, of course, came from rocks.

Its square stone buildings huddled along the shore of the sheltered harbor, whose edge was fringed with docks, submarine-mine barges, fishing boats with black sails,

Sherry: Welp, we found pirates; how about Wrecker?

and a cluster of other craft.

The spaceport, on which rested space ships from many worlds of the Galaxy, was at the north edge of the town. But Urd slid the "Space Goddess" smoothly through the mists and brought it down upon the desolate, uninhabited rocky shore west of the city.

Keiichi Morisato outlined his plans.

Gio: First, hittin’ the muscle beach to work on his quads.

"I'm going into Amphitrite and check with Chihiro and Bell first. Later, I'll question Toraichi Tamiya and his superintendent, Ootaki. The first thing I want to is to get at the bottom of the sabotage here, it's vital that the gravium mines on this world remain unharmed. And I want to ask about the concession that Kerk El, the murdered Sigoonean, had here."

Gio: What good’s it gonna do to know how his hot dog stand was doin’?

"I'll go with you, lad," rasped the Brain. "I've an idea of my own I'd like to check."

"And I've a lot of ideas!" Urd exclaimed.

Peorth: All of them having to do with getting one of these souls to down a truth potion, I’m sure. …and for Skuld to accidentally take it, but that’s neither here nor there.

"For my money, that foppish Oranean, Orr Libro, is Wrecker behind all this. He murdered Kerk El, and he'll murder Quarus Tull if he gets a chance, and destroy Tamiya's mines. Then he'll be the gravium king.

Sherry: With his only remaining competitor to be McGravium’s.

Watch me force it out of him when we get into the city."

"The only action you're going to see is right here, onboard the "Space Goddess"," Captain Keiichi told his sister witheringly. "The ship's interior needs to be cleaned. However, I've done the cleaning last time, and now it's your turn. You can start while I'm gone."

Gio (as Tamiya): Hey! That’s my thing!

Household chores were the biggest personal adversary for Urd. Lounging comfortably with a drink on hand was one of her best ideas for fun, but cleaning? To risk soiling her pretty skin by dusting, scrubbing, cleaning, and polishing? ABSOLUTE HORROR!

Sherry: Housework! Imprisoning me! All that I see!

"Have a heart, Captain!" pleaded Urd. "You'll need me in there. Cleaning the ship is just a waste of my talents."

"See that she stays, Skuld, and that your new computer backups are transmitted to all patrol vessels", Keiichi said.

Gio: Put a demo disc in every mailbox!

"Yes, Captain," boomed the metal girl. "If she tries to get away I'll spank her."

Peorth: *raising an eyebrow* Did Skuld write this part of the chapter?

"You'll spank me?" flared Urd. "Why, you…."

Sherry: *milling her fists* Why, I oughta…

Gio: *following suit* A wise guy, eh?

[The two mime Three Stooges slapstick for a bit]

In the twilight, the scene along the rocky shore was weirdly desolate.

Peorth: The desolate shore they landed on turns out to be desolate. Quelle surprise.

The surging, swinging thunder of great waves battering the shore was a reverberating monotone.

Sherry: CUT! Come on, now, emote! Emote!

Far out into the dusk stretched the vast vagueness of the planetary sea.

Peorth: It refuses to elaborate, it can be quite infuriating.

Keiichi's eyes kindled, and he breathed the salt, tangy air deeply. There was something about this wild ocean-world that called to Captain Keiichi's unfettered spirit.

Sherry: *singing* Oooh, baby, baby, it’s a wild-

Gio: *flat, deep*-ocean-

Sherry: *singing*-world!

The knowledge that that dim sea stretched for a hundred thousand miles around the giant world was somehow stimulating. Vast reaches of that mighty watery waste had never been sailed by men, though

Peorth: Women and a few cats have explored it.

there were horrific legends about it.

Captain Keiichi strode purposefully through the dusk along the surf-pounded shore with his strange, bodiless comrade.

Gio: One of his crew’s a ghost?

Peorth: Chieko got conned into a role, too? Have you no shame, fanfic?!

Soon he entered the stone streets of the moonlit city Amphitrite. Lights were flaring along the main avenues, but the tall, black haired space-man and the Brain aroused no attention.

Sherry: Pinky’s toupee was really working out.

One more Earthman was nothing noticeable in this city that drew its population from nearly all the worlds of the Galaxy.

Gio: Everywhere ‘cept Rhode Island. They didn’t give a whoop ‘bout this water balloon.

Here were green Denephean, handsome white Sl'orth, hairy men of Raka, and among others, a great number of swaggering Earthmen. Submarine miners, fishermen, space-sailors, officials of all kinds.

Sherry: Old ladies, insurance salesmen, infants, we could go on all day.

And there were some of the native Bameans gangling men with seemingly boneless bodies, oily gray skin, and strange peaked skulls.

Gio: Hmph, no confidence. They came with their own dunce caps!

"Not as many space-sailors as usual, by far," Keiichi Morisato muttered. "Space traffic is falling off sharply, all right."

Sherry: At least it’ll cut down on the commute.

"Aye, lad," agreed the Brain. "People don't want to be caught on another world if the gravium supply gives out, and no more equalizers can be had.

Sherry: *retching* So you’re telling me I’ll have all that tinny treble and way too little bass all night? Back off!

The fear is beginning to paralyze the Galaxy."

"They're scared, all right," Keiichi said. "Damn Wrecker anyway! What can be the devil's motive for causing all this?"

Gio: Like they’d drag Hild into this, too.

A square building with the emblem of the Planet Police over its door was just ahead. Captain Keiichi stepped inside. A dark-uniformed policeman, a reedy Oranean, came forward, glancing casually at the square case Keiichi carried.

Gio: Yo, you remember to weigh that hand-carry before boardin’?

"What are you selling, Earthman?" he asked curtly.

"Nothing that you would want to buy, Oranean," rasped Megumi.

Sherry: Keiichi’s ventriloquist act is really unorthodox.

At the retort from the case, the Oranean officer recoiled. Keiichi, chuckling, held out his left hand.

Gio (as Keiichi): Pull my finger.

"Captain Keiichi!" exclaimed the Oranean, respect that was almost awe appearing in his face.

A tough, Earth woman with black hair and a beautiful face came hurrying out of an inner office, a brown-haired Earth girl behind her.

Peorth (as Woman #1): La vache, I missed my cue!

Sherry (as Woman #2): The director didn’t call cut! Just go!

"I recognized that raspin' voice of the Brain!" exclaimed Chihiro Fujimi,

Gio: *bad Texan accent* It’s just like that narration described way up yonder!

pumping Keiichi's hand. "There ain't but one voice like that in the whole System!"

Belldandy's brown eyes were shining with pleasure,

Peorth: What her blue eyes were doing at the time, well, you tell me.

Gio: What does a goddess need with colored contacts?

her pretty face vivid with breathless excitement as she faced Keiichi.

"I'm relieved that you arrived on Bama unharmed Captain. I learned what happened on Mercury." Bell said.

"If the amenities are all concluded," said Megumi sourly,

Sherry: You know, the free wifi, the minibar, those towels they fold into roses, all the amenities.

"I suggest we find out what Chihiro and Bell have learned."

Keiichi's face sobered.

Gio (as Keiichi): Learning?! Nobody told me about that!

"Megumi's right, there's no time to lose."

"Don't I know it!" exclaimed Chihiro. The colonel's eyes snapped.

Sherry: They were really brittle.

Gio: Shoulda used some eye drops first.

"The space-traffic of every world is being strangled right now by fear, fear of the gravium giving out. And that's what gets me. What's Wrecker going to gain by this? He's worse than that devil, Space Emperor…. Halval! As bad as Halval was, we could at least understand what her motive was.

Gio: Whatever it was.

Sherry: In that part of the fic which the Chairman didn’t find, or something.

But I can't figure out what Wrecker's trying to accomplish, no matter how much I try! Do you have any ideas? "

Gio: Uhhh…broth with more umami?

"To intimidate the government and gain power." Belldandy replied.

"The government has already refused his demands. If he destroys the last mine it will become impossible for him to control the galaxy." Retorted Chihiro.

"He must be thinking that the leaders will give into his blackmail at the last moment," interjected Megumi.

Gio: He’s got one of them timers that stops at “0.01” for that.

"No, no. I do n't think that's the case. I feel that he actually wants to completely destroy the mine fopr real." Keiichi objected.

Sherry: Not for funsies, like he first thought.

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at him in horror, not wanting to consider the consequences of this hypothesis.

"But it would just… There is nothing to gain by interplanetary killing! That's just... madness." Says the Brain.

Gio: That’s just SPARTA!

"Yes, that's right. I don't think that we are dealing with a galactic conqueror like Halval. To put it plainly, Wrecker's simply a madman. Based off of several clues from his behavior I think he is a terrorist, whose only desire is to sow fear by creating the greatest possible massacre." Retorted Keiichi

Sherry: Which is why the people he’s killed so far have been miners and a couple of executives.

Gio: He’s one of them homicidal maniacs that likes to take the scenic route and see the sights.

before adding, "Colonel, what about the four men I asked you to monitor when they arrived?"

Peorth: Mmm, they seem less like madmen, more like mildly annoyed men.

"Yes, everything is set, we can go to the mine with the three remaining directors and deputy Ootaki, right now," replied the Colonel.

"We've had men watching them every hour since their arrival, Captain Keiichi. But they've done nothing suspicious.

Sherry: Not even one Emergency Meeting?

Peorth: I mean, consider that Belldandy is at this table…

Libro and Quarus Tull are arranging to prospect and develop their new gravium concessions.

Sherry: They’re already working on really sketchy in-game currency models.

Toraichi Tamiya and his superintendent are occupied by the troubles in their mines." Said Belldandy.

"About, no news of the two spacecraft of the bandits?" Asked Keiichi.

"No. We could not find any information, however..."

"However?"

"A rumor among the natives who said that a large black bird would recently appeared in the virgin forest.

Gio: Not fancy enough to be extra virgin.

We are not on Deneph, these natives do not like humans, but they are too few to represent any threat."

Sherry: Any threat to what?

Peorth: They’re hoping they can avoid another unsolicited dissertation to over-explain a cute thing from the books.

"A big black bird? Actually it there's very likely that it is' one of the vessels."

"I'll check" Belldandy said.

Peorth: Big, black space birds. These criminals must be Romulan.

"Thanks, Bell. However, go with Skuld, she is inside the 'Space-Goddess'. First check that the new measures against hacking computer

Sherry: Just the one.

Gio: Well, there is only one Wrecker.

have been distributed to all patrol units. Do you have additional information, Colonel?"

"Tamiya's company has three big sub-sea gravium mines away out in the ocean," Chihiro explained. "In two of them, they've had a lot of queer accidents

Sherry: Too many queens are colliding during shows; guys are afraid to perform there now.

and their men are getting afraid to work."

Sherry: See?

Gio: Yeah, ain’t nobody slayin’ with all them hazards in play!

Keiichi came to quick decision.

"The safety of those three mines is paramount right now!

Gio (as Keiichi): We can’t afford another Ben-Hur 2016!

We'll go over and see Tamiya and Ootaki. If their mines are in danger, the danger has to be eliminated before we can spend any time ferreting out the identity of Wrecker."

Sherry: And if the threat is Wrecker himself?

Gio: I dunno, they’ll figure out who the bits of him belonged to.

Chihiro Fujimi led the way out of the Police building, and along the streets toward the harbor. Ahead, at the edge of the crowded harbor, loomed the great warehouses of the Bamean Gravium Company. In the moonlit water beyond were anchored the company's fast supply-boats, trouble-boats, wide-beamed prospecting-boats,

Sherry: Gravy boats, Boaty McBoatface, Kern and Hammerstein’s Show Boat…

and great caisson-barges.

Gio: *singing* Moored at home, scared to sink, ‘cuz this Wrecker loser stinks, as the barges go floating along!

The fishing-docks were some distance around the curve of the harbor.

Peorth: Where they would be threatened by fish-themed villain Lord Mercury.

Sherry: And his Microplastic Men.

Colonel Chihiro accompanied Captain Keiichi to the mine where the three directors and the superintendent were waiting.

Peorth: Passed from director to director in a desperate attempt to save it!

"Ah, Captain. So what do you intend to do to protect my mine? If you do not intervene, I will be ruined," Director Tamiya asked.

"What happened ?"Asked the captain.

Gio (as Tamiya): Our best guess? Somebody set up us the bomb.

"We had a series of 'accidents' that seemed criminal," explained Ootaki.

"It is the work of this Wrecker, or one of those two.

[Gio and Sherry look at one another, confused]

Peorth: Very funny.

I think they are accomplices," Tamiya said angrily, pointing Orr Libro and Quarus Tull.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?" Exclaimed Libro, the Oranean.

Sherry: I mean, have you seen how the last arc went?

"I know exactly what I said. You spend your time making plans around my mine," Tamiya answered.

Gio (as Tamiya): *near tears* The weekend party, the sports day, the catering; I was supposed to plan all that!

"The government has given us permission to look for secondary deposits of gravium. You are the owner of the mine on Bama, but not all the planet that I know of.

Gio: But as soon as they map this place, look out!

What we do beyond the periphery of your mine is our business and I beg you not to meddle in it. Libro retorted in a tone equally aggressive than Tamiya.

Peorth: CUT! Stop reading your stage directions; did you even read the script before you got here?!

"Stop playing around, Tamiya. It is clear to me that you are Wrecker. An Oranean would not have the mentality of a terrorist and I know I'm not Wrecker. What is your excuse?"

Gio (as Tamiya): My excuse is that the arc’s not over yet!

Sherry (as Libro): Oh, well excuse me, Mr. Script Reader!

Quarus Tull the Romacean added.

"If this were the case, I would arrange for no accidents in my own mine."

"You put this plot point to have a monopoly on gravium.

All: *incensed* HEY!

Gio: You don’t get to bash your own author, fanfic!

But thanks to our research rights we obtained Libro and we will stop all of your beautiful projects," Tull said.

Sherry: They’ll have to be ugly projects instead!

"I forbid you to say such things !" Tamiya said, rushing at Tull.

Before anyone could intervene, Tamiya needlessly choked Tull's Romacean neck and lifted him from the ground.

Gio: Then chokeslammed him into the Spanish announce table.

"You are Romacean. Your people are known for their propensity for crime.

Sherry: By sketchy keyboard warriors banned from most forums.

Admit that you are a Wrecker !" the director yelled.

Gio: Look, his tow truck is his business!

Colonel Chihiro intervened to force Tamiya to release Tull. She said, "Now, calm down."

"In any case, I am sure of one thing now. No micro spy or sophisticated listening devices.

Gio: What about simple listening devices?

Sherry: Well, there was that lady they caught standing outside the window with an ear funnel.

I have come to the conclusion that either Wrecker or one of his agents, is in this room." Keiichi concluded.

When all eyes turned to him, he added: "And I intend to unmask him."

Peorth: He was a little stumped when he realized none of them was wearing the dumb purple helmet.

Again, the captain did not have any proof of what he said, but he still hoped once provoked, that the reaction would be an indicator, but not formally accuse anyone. A tactic that sometimes proved it could pay. You just had to avoid too many direct unfounded accusations that rarely really worked.

Sherry: Yeah, funny how that works out.

Gio (as Keiichi): We know Wrecker is a guy, and for like the twelfth time, I suspect one of you.

oOo

Sherry: “Follow your O’s” was a less successful Froot Loops slogan.

Meanwhile, Belldandy and Skuld entered one of the very rare jungle of a very rare Bama Islands.

Peorth: Well, nothing about this has been well done so far, so I suppose we’re on the right track.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Skuld asked.

"Indigenous.

Gio: Anything indigenous, I guess.

Peorth: She was very disappointed to learn she had accidentally stumbled on the planet’s African safari park.

We are here to know more about the 'big black bird' that they have seen. They could perhaps tell us where it landed and if we're lucky, it will be a Wrecker vessel."

Sherry: There’s too many people parking their junkers around.

"I look forward to meeting these natives. Recently, I saw that there are two days in the asteroid belt of the solar system. They worshiped me like a goddess".

Peorth: *flat* Skuld, a goddess. What are the odds.

"Well, you risk creating a heaven or hell.

Gio: Let’s ROCK! …nobody?

Here, the natives seem to revere and fear demons rather than gods."

Sherry: They say as they, I don’t know, walk past a huge billboard with Mara’s face on it…

Peorth: A tall gold statue of Hild, a plaque under it reading “OUR FOUNDER” in massive block letters…

Indigenous, small, and gray aliens with the morphology of children with rickets did not like humans.

Gio: They thought their description was really insultin’.

Already by instinct, but mostly because they were searching in the sea, the natives considered sacred. Unable to swim because of their morphology, they feared above all the ocean and its storms they equated with supernatural phenomena controlled by 'demons of the oceans'.

Peorth: Evil lorelei?

Sherry: This must be that planet Bizarro came from.

Or they fear that humans, going underwater in their strange ships will eventually awaken the demons unleashed their anger and who also befall them.

Peorth: They failed to stay in the designated starpool lane.

Sherry: Hah!

"You are not tired? I can take you on my back if you want." Skuld asked politely.

Gio (as Skuld): I can tell with all no signs of fatigue you’re showin’ me.

"No thank you, do not worry about me," Belldandy replied.

"Isn't that what you would be saying to the captain?" joked the silver girl.

Sherry: And would she be saying it so wooden?

Belldandy blushed at that statement. "Shut up a bit.

Peorth: *harrumphing* It’s as if Belldandy is in the theater with us.

Sherry: Tell me about it.

Gio: SHADDUP NURSE! I mean, SKULD!

We'll enter the forest area inhabited by natives."

"Follow me, I'll open the road," the girl robot said uprooted a bush.

Gio: Real substandard roadworks they got on this planet.

Indeed, the density of the vegetation was not a problem for Skuld to pass through, she was like a bulldozer. Belldandy only had to follow her.

The interstellar agent then saw a native in a bush. He fled immediately.

Gio (as the native): Fanfic characters?! Gah, there goes the neighborhood!

She ran after him.

"Wait please," she cried.

[Beat. Deathly silence, Gio clears his throat, then…]

Sherry: Now what?

When the net fell on her from the trees, she realized that she had fallen into a trap.

[Everyone cracks up]

Peorth: Perceptive as ever, Belldandy.

Sherry (as Belldandy): Hmmm, this net seems like a bad sign, maybe I made a mistake…

Gio: *nasal* A tiny net is a death sentence! It’s a net, and it’s tiny!

Of course, Skuld rushed to free Bell. But before she could do anything, a dozen small gray beings fell on her, pinning her to the ground.

[Gio aggressively stands up, blows a whistle and throws a yellow flag at the screen]

Keiichi's sister managed to emerge in seconds, but in that time Belldandy had already disappeared instantly into the bushes, like the little gray beings.

Sherry: Leaves behind only the fresh scent of pine!

Tied up and unconscious, Bell was taken away by the natives;

Gio: We better warn the Anthill Mob so they can get on this one.

who placed her between two hooded men standing guard in front of one of the black ships.

Peorth: My, I’m ashamed! I was told this was a PG-rated riff!

[Gio clacks Peorth upside the head with his gold coin and catches it in midair, much to Peorth’s shock]

Peorth: You…

Gio: Action hero, lady.

[Peorth processes this, then gives Gio an impressed smile]

"Wow, this is a good job. Okay, so wear out quickly inside." Said one of the two men.

Sherry: Wear out quickly, huh?

Gio: Better do more cardio.

One of the little gray men, who wore a necklace of bones and seemed to be the leader spoke.

Gio: He was really their witch doctor. They got a Dr. Kananga and Baron Samedi thing goin’.

"Wrecker said he would hunt humans on the planet, if we help."

Peorth: Which means they’ll tag Belldandy now, then release her back into the wild.

"Oh, he will. But meanwhile, it does not prevent you from praying to the statue demon of the ocean," said the second man, pointing to a statue carved in the rock emerging from the sea.

Gio: Huh. Your founder crack came back quick.

Peorth: This is a miracle; don’t count on it happening twice!

The statue in question was a humanoid form, the creature had no mouth

Sherry: And it must scream.

but gills and very large ears which looked like fins. The rest of the body was smooth; with many of its fine details being filed down from the exposure to the sea.

Gio: Turn the detail back up!

Sherry: But my framerate!

The natives knelt and prayed to their 'demon', while the guards were returning to the ship which held some of the same small gray beings who kidnapped Belldandy. Inside, several men were to carry out work on the ship.

Gio: They needed their metric Belldandy; all they had onboard was a standard.

Belldandy then woke up and lifted herself up from the ground, her eyes turned to see the two guards who were watching and smiling.

Peorth: …erm. Are we really going to have to change the rating of this riff?

[Awkard pause. Gio pulls out his coin again and prepares to flip it]

Gio: Call it in the air, ladies!

"You are a relative of Captain Keiichi, since you were walking you with his robot." one of them said.

Gio: So ya can just make wild guesses with someone you interrogate? All this time I’ve been askin’ people questions like a sucker!

"Why are you doing repairs on your ship?" Belldandy asked, without confirming that the guards had just said.

"Any?" The second guard said.

[Everyone looks at one another, stumped]

"So, what are you doing? It seems to me that you had a second, isn't it?"

"The second is already ready."

Peorth: I’m starting to think that perhaps there are a few here who failed to read their scripts.

"Needless to say too much to her. Her fate is not decided yet. Notify me when Wrecker comes. However, I advise you to prepare for your final journey, miss.

Sherry: And she’s flying coach!

I've never seen Wrecker spare anyone," the second guard said.

Gio: He always gutterballs his second roll.

"Please tell me. I do not care. Skuld must have already been informed of my kidnapping.

Sherry: *raising an eyebrow* “Informed of it?” How do you get informed of a thing that you were there to witness?

Gio: *snickering* Guessin’ they dogpiled her and went “By the way, we’re kidnappin’ the one with the ponytail.”

The reaction of the captain and the Patrol will be quick."

The first hooded man laughed, "Do not become disillusioned by false hope. The Captain and the patrol will be far too busy.

Sherry: It’s laundry day.

We will be far away from here by the time they even try to rescue you."

oOo

Sherry: *really slowly singing* Is for the only one I see!

"WHAT? BUT... WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? YOU WERE THERE WITH HER! Why couldn't you protect her?!" Urd screamed to the screen of the control cabin of the "Space-Goddess."

Sherry (as the screen): Ma’am, I’m a spaceship. What was I supposed to do?

"Everything happened so fast." Shamefully admited Skuld.

Gio: Have you seen what kinda tech they’re slingin’? They had nets! Nets!

"The Captain went to the mine. As for Megumi and me, we have to stay in the "Space Goddess" and stand ready.

Gio: To rumble?

Sherry: No, to rock.

To think that I've been stuck here with the household chores waiting for you… Unbelievable!"

"What do I have to do ?" Asked the robot girl.

"You have to seek and find Belldandy alone, without me holding you by the hand.

Gio: As Urd’s known for, I guess.

You acted like a goddess for two whole days, so, now, you will use your "infinite divine wisdom" to find the Captain's girlfriend." spat Urd mostly out of worry for Bell and not because she was really angry with Skuld.

Sherry: *rolling her eyes* Sure, just follow the noises! “Hay-ulp! Hay-ulp!”

oOo

Meanwhile, Keiichi was being followed Ootaki to well # 1.

Gio: Oh, hey! We’re gettin’ closer to Little Timmy!

.

Sherry: And now, we finally get to the point.

Roaring a song of unleashed power from is cyclotrons,

Gio: *belting* Highway to the danger zone~

its rocket-tubes churning the waters to flame by their discharge,

Sherry: Hurry, reduce that to a simmer!

the big trouble-boat shot out onto the moonlit sea.

Gio: Shame about all them space manatees and all that space coral…

Captain Keiichi's lithe figure hunched beside Ootaki at the bridge of the hundred-foot boat. The boat itself was a tubular shape, streamlined and covered by a transparent, watertight over deck.

Peorth: Nobody had the heart to tell him it was a submarine after the crews accidentally welded the ballast tanks shut.

"It'll take us half an hour to get to Mine One, even in this craft!" Ootaki was crying to Keiichi. "God knows what may happen in that time."

Sherry: Thirty minutes? We’re not going to have to watch another anime episode in the middle of this one, are we?

The wiry young superintendent's browned face was wild with anxiety, his eyes dilated as he peered ahead.

Sherry: You can tell through the circle shades?

Peorth: His eyes are just that wide. He must be very anxious.

"Who called you from Mine One?" Captain Keiichi asked.

"Vase Avam, our Denephean mine-boss there," answered the superintendent. "He said the laborers down in the dome are panicky, claim the dome is weakening.

They've been scary lately, anyway.

Gio: Yanno, spinnin’ their heads around, pukin’ pea soup, talkin’ from the throat ‘bout how their mamas are in there with ‘em…

"Our laborers are mostly Bamean more civilized than those living in the jungles" Ootaki explained, "but they're a superstitious lot.

Gio: So my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts.

They hate to go down into the submarine mines, they've got all kinds of weird legends about the sea and the things that live in it.

Sherry: Like this one: “Call me Ishmael-”

Peorth: We don’t have time for that!

If something's actually gone wrong with the dome, they'll be crazy."

The trouble-boat was picking up velocity now. They were far out of the harbor, the lights of Amphitrite dropping out of sight behind them. They rushed southward over the moonlit ocean.

Now, on the open sea, they met the great tidal combers.

Sherry: Stylists of the gods!

Peorth: Space goddess.

Sherry: Whatever.

The pull of the moon Steroc produced ceaseless running tides in the Bamean sea, tides that rolled endlessly around the water-covered planet in immense waves.

Sherry: Somewhere, it was always low tide, and so, the planet always stunk.

Mercilessly those waves jounced and pounded the speeding craft.

Gio: And battered and hammered and walloped it.

The submersible trouble-boat could have run more smoothly beneath the surface,

Peorth: But this was far more dramatic and urgent-looking.

but that would have cut their speed a little. Ootaki and Keiichi preferred to submit to the rough battering of the sea rather than lose time on their urgent mission.

Gio: It’d kill their any% speedrun.

"Storm coming up!" Ootaki called, pointing toward an ominous violet flicker of lightning far ahead. "Hope it holds off till we get to Mine One."

Keiichi Morisato nodded. "I know what Bamean storms are like!"

Peorth: It’s raining Eeks and Oogs out there!

Captain Keiichi knew this world well. His whole life so far had been spent shuttling to and fro among the thronging worlds and moons, on his great struggle against interplanetary crime and criminals, and he had visited Bama often.

Gio: He was gettin’ real tired of that Dr. Evil guy and his Submarine Lair.

But Keiichi realized that even he did not know a tenth of the mysteries that this mighty planet hid.

Peorth: Mostly, because he was as bad a swimmer as his namesake.

Sherry: Unfortunately for him, he’s playing Captain Future and not Aquaman.

The native Bameans had many weird legends about hidden wonders of their world, Keiichi knew. Legends of monsters of the deep even more huge and terrible than the dreaded "Squalodon"

Sherry: Squalodon! We are off!

and Uruzaru; legends of strange floating islands upon which grew poisonous flowers of exquisite beauty….

Gio: And not ursals, so we ain’t cribbin’ from the book so obviously.

Magically beautiful rolled the tossing, moonlit ocean before Keiichi Morisato's eyes, as they sped over it now.

Gio: Turns out the sub was really a seaplane.

Yet he knew what mysterious and mighty shapes of dread that sea concealed.

Peorth: The square, and the sinister rhombus.

[Gio and Sherry gasp]

Even as he stared, he saw the looping coils of a great Bamean sea-snake appear on the moon-silvered surface far to the west, darting its head out after a flying flock of "air-fish."

Sherry: Flying fish? Futuristic!

Captain Keiichi's mind swung to the problem at hand, to Wrecker who now was apparently beginning increased sabotage of the three all-important submarine gravium mines here.

Gio: Tamiya didn’t have the heart to tell ‘em the warranties on the whole mine expired last week.

"There's a vast, cunning purpose behind this apparently senseless destruction," Keiichi muttered. "But what purpose? Not Galaxy control, apparently"

Gio: *really calm* This is Galaxy Control, Sol System, we have you in a holding pattern and are clear to land…

The floating depot of Mine One suddenly came into view. It was a big, square floating metal platform upheld by large vacuum-pontoons. Upon the platform stood metal machine-houses and

Sherry: Their really scraggly front yards.

Peorth: The Bamean Homeowners’ Association is going to have such a fit.

pump, shacks, and to it were moored supply-boats, and big flat scows piled with gray gravium ore.

Captain Keiichi knew that that gravium was mined in the submarine workings far below the floating depot. The ore was loaded into the scows and towed to the big smelters near Amphitrite.

Ootaki and Keiichi Morisato leaped onto the great floating platform as their troubleboat ran alongside.

Sherry: It was awful handy that it grew legs for the purpose.

There was a deafening confusion of throbbing pumps,

Gio: This mine needs a really big Tylenol.

grinding machinery.

Gio: And oil.

Sherry: *giggling* Tylenoil.

Frightened Bameans came running to meet them.

Ootaki singled out their leader. "Where's Vase Avam, the mine-boss?" he cried to the Bamean foreman.

The foreman chattered in broken Earth speech. "Down in the dome, he's trying to keep the laborers from stampeding. The dome walls have bulged a little in one place.

Sherry: Too much pulled pork and not enough exercise will do that.

Vase Avam says there's no real danger, but the men…."

Gio: If that’s broken Earth; what’s everyone else speakin’?

Peorth: You haven’t read this fanfic if you haven’t read it in the original Klingon.

Ootaki waited to hear no more.

"Come on, Captain Keiichi!" he cried. "Maybe you can influence the men down there keep them from deserting work!"

Gio: Quick, Keiichi! Tell ‘em about the benefits package! They even offer dental!

Keiichi ran with the superintendent toward the center of the platform. Here was the mouth of the tubeway that ran down to the air-tight submarine mine on the sea bottom far below. The tube-way was a huge, annulated metal tube of twenty feet diameter, that dropped straight down into the sea from the floating depot.

Sherry: They called this the “fall screaming and die” mining method.

The great air-pumps whose throbbing filled the night pumped air under pressure down this tube.

Gio: Makin’ bubbles in your milkshake on an epic scale!

Sherry: Pneumatic fracking. That sounds totally environmentally sound.

And in the tubeway was a moving, endless chain of big buckets, one side ascending from below and the other descending. They were used to bring up gravium from below, and take down men and supplies a mechanical conveyor.

Gio: The workers had elevator music in their heads all day as a result.

Sherry: Gravium mining is cruel.

Keiichi leaped with Ootaki into one of the big buckets, as the Bamean at the conveyor-control stopped it momentarily. Then, in the bucket, they were dropping down the dark tubeway.

Peorth: Apparently, waiting for an elevator was just too much work.

Gio: They’re gonna feel real stupid when a ton of wet ore drops on their dumb blockheads.

"Could some of your own laborers here be sabotaging the dome?" Captain Keiichi demanded of Ootaki as they dropped through the darkness.

Gio (as Ootaki): *incensed* You sayin’ we’re the plot to Battlefield Earth?! You’re heartless, man!

"It seems the only possible answer to what's been happening!" Ootaki cried distractedly. "Yet they've never given trouble before. The whole thing is so unexpected?"

Gio: Is it? You tell us, yo!

Keiichi saw light far below. They had descended in the tube through thousands of feet of sea, and the lights below were those of the big mine on the ocean floor.

Sherry: I wonder if it’s worth it to say deep-sea mining doesn’t mean making an actual mine mine down there? With people wielding pickaxes and jackhammers and stuff?

Gio: Huh. Maybe Tamiya really is just having guys punch the gravium right outta the rocks!

The conveyor-bucket they rode in dropped suddenly out of the dark tube-way into a great, brilliantly-lighted space. This was the submarine mine itself. It was an enormous, dome-shaped metal caisson, a thousand feet in diameter, resting firmly on the rock sea-bottom.

Sherry: *singing* In the sea, on a cruise, helping this fic be a snooze, as the caissons are sunk in the drink~

Such caissons, Keiichi knew, were lowered over a spot where submarine prospectors had located rich ores, and then the water was pumped out and a constant pressure of air maintained.

Several scores

Gio: And seven years ago…

of Bamean laborers were in this brightly-lighted chamber at the bottom of the deep sea. Open veins of gravium ore in the rock bottom showed where they had been working. But they were not working now they were clustering excitedly around the conveyor,

Gio: Bucket wheel excavators just got ‘em goin’.

Peorth: Marina Ida must have interviewed them.

while a big Denephean boss held them back with his proton-gun.

Ootaki sprang toward this Denephean, followed by Captain Keiichi. The green face of the Denephean showed relief.

"These scared devils have nearly mobbed me,

Gio: They’re all wearin’ pinstripe suits and wavin’ round Tommy Guns.

they're so crazy to get out of here!" Vase Avam, the mine-boss, told Ootaki.

"Let us go!" yelled the Bamean laborers wildly. "This dome faces destruction, the demon of the ocean take vengeance on us for invading their watery realm!"

Vase Avam flourished his gun.

Gio: Well, your pistol twirlin’ ain’t impressive enough. Try another trick!

"Back, you gray-faced scum! I'll blast down the first who gets in the conveyor!"

Of course, in normal times, the Denephean would have been arrested immediately. Now he was tasked by the galactic government to do whatever it took to maintain the production of Gravium.

Gio: So, they’d only arrest him later.

Employees like him were requisitioned to work in the mines regardless of the risk to their own lives.

Peorth: Tamiya likes his fine print on these employee contracts, doesn’t he?

"What terrified them like this?" Captain Keiichi demanded swiftly of the Denephean boss.

Vase Avam pointed a flipper like hand toward the north wall of the dome. There, near the rock floor, the super-heavy metal wall had bulged slightly inward at one point.

"That bulge there, the gray devils saw it and began yammering about

Gio: How they wished them Axis and Allied forces fightin’ there would keep it down.

the demon of the ocean," the mine-boss told Keiichi. "Damn their superstitious souls."

"Demon of the ocean?" Asked Keiichi.

"Yes. It's an old legend that runs among the natives who claim that the demons that control the storms live in the ocean floor," explained Vase Avam.

Sherry: They really need to follow different YouTube channels.

Ootaki's face paled as he saw the slight bulge in the dome wall. Then he shouted to the Denephean. "Let the men out of here, get them up to the surface at once, before the whole dome gives way!"

Vase Avam protested. "But that bulge isn't dangerous, Ootaki. I looked at it, and I'm sure the wall won't give."

Gio: All no inspections or diagnostics or anything they did back his claim up.

"Let the men out, I say!" Ootaki cried. "I do not know if this wall will suffice, but threatening our employees with a gun does not seem the best thing to do, anyways."

Sherry: Why can’t you do it with something fun, like a clown mallet or a plate of overcooked broccoli?

Unbelievingly, the Denephean boss stood aside. And without lingering, the Bamean laborers piled frantically into the slowly moving buckets of the conveyor to be raised out of sight into the tubeway.

Ootaki pushed the Denephean toward a bucket, and was following him, when he stopped and shouted to Keiichi Morisato. "Captain Keiichi, aren't you coming?"

Keiichi Morisato had started away across the floor of the dome, toward the north wall.

"You go ahead, Ootaki!" Keiichi called back. "I want to look at this bulge,"

Peorth: There are children reading this, fanfic!

Sherry: Hey, don’t get on this fic for its waistline; that’s rude.

"But this is madness.

Gio: So what do we do if we’re already down the well when someone says the line?

Sherry: Kick them anyway; you might as well.

The wall won't resist for much longer!" Ootaki called urgently in warning.

"I'm sure it will be done Mr. Ootaki" objected the Denephean before adding "I have already seen this kind of hole, and it would take more than 4 times that size before I start to worry."

Peorth: The water rushing in, he wasn’t all that worried about.

But Captain Keiichi paid no attention. The young man was hastening on across the deserted rock workings. He reached the north wall and began keenly examining the long, straight bulge in it.

Gio: Little did he know that was just a real bad wallpaper installation job.

Keiichi knew there was danger in lingering here, but he was gambling that he'd have time enough to make an examination.

For here, he was sure, was some of the handiwork of Wrecker's organization! Alone now, Keiichi bent down and began inspecting the ominous bulge in the wall.

Sherry: Maybe it’s not Wrecker. Maybe a manta ray swam down there and crashed into it face-first.

Keiichi's eyes widened with the surprise he soon experienced. He had believed that the wall had been somehow weakened secretly by some of the laborers, an inside job. But his trained eye perceived that this wall had been weakened somehow from outside.

Gio: Meanin’ it was an outside job.

Yet, as Vase Avam had said, it did not seem very dangerous.

Until now.

"Something's exerting a strong pressure from the outside. I think I know what it is. "Keiichi thought.

Sherry: Water, maybe?

Peorth: Oh, come now, don’t be intentionally outlandish.

Swiftly, Captain Keiichi pawed in the capacious pockets of the gray tungstite belt in which he wore his proton-pistol. That belt contained the super-compact emergency outfit of scientific instruments and weapons that more than once Keiichi had found invaluable. In it were his device for inducing brief invisibility, his infra-light spectacles, his pocket communicator,

Gio: His nine iron, his antacid tablets, his lists…

and many compact tools and instruments.

He drew out a little tube with curious quartz lenses at each end. It was a fluoroscopic X-ray scope, a smaller model of the powerful outfit in the laboratory of the "Space Goddess". Keiichi applied it to his eye, snicked on its switch, and

Gio: Looked like he was doing an old-timey jewelry inspection, by the looks of it.

peered through the heavy metal of the wall by means of its projected radiations.

He saw the inmost crystalline structure of the metal as though cloudily semiopaque.

Peorth: Which means he can’t be using an X-ray device, but that’s another story.

And he saw a flame, a powerful flame.

"Someone attack the wall with a torch." Keiichi understood.

Sherry: What, to weld it back shut?

That mysterious flame was still playing upon the outside of the dome-wall! It showed in the instrument Captain Keiichi was using, as a bright radiance playing all along the wall.

Gio: Lucky that X-ray device he brought along is really a thermal camera.

Sherry: Hmmm, should anyone have investigated that bright melty spot in the wall that everyone was panicking about? Nahhhh!

Someone or something out in the deep sea outside was using that flame to break down the crystalline structure of the wall's metal!

Peorth: What those in the scientific community call “melting.”

There was an ominous screeking sound and the dome-wall bulged still farther inward in front of his eyes.

Gio (as Keiichi): Hmmm, a torch taken to the walls of this mine. Let’s see where they’re going with this…

"I'd better get out!" Captain Keiichi muttered.

Meanwhile, Vase Avam and Ootaki joined the colonel Chihiro who had just arrived on the scene.

"Where is the captain Keiichi?" she asked.

Peorth: Um, neither of those two are Keiichi, madame.

"He insisted on staying alone at the well bottom." Said the Denephean.

Hearing the noises coming from the mine, Chihiro turned his gaze to the structure concerned.

Sherry: While the female Chihiro decided to take an early lunch.

He raced back toward the conveyor whose empty buckets were still endlessly ascending and descending in the tubeway. But, as Keiichi neared it, the conveyor stopped suddenly with a harsh, rending sound of metal being torn far above.

Peorth: Keiichi chose to ignore the elevators’ maximum weight limits, and was about to pay the price.

Suddenly, down out of the tubeway entrance in the roof of the dome, there poured a terrific stream of sea-water, like a solid cylinder of down-shooting sea.

Gio: Whew! Finally unclogged that toilet!

"Whoever's outside has wrecked the tubeway torn it in half somehow!" Keiichi exclaimed, for the moment appalled.

Gio: *melodramatic* Almost as if someone entirely dedicated to this act of wrecking did it! A…Wrecker…if you will!

Crack, crash! The bulging north wall of the dome had split! A horizontal jet of water drove in with terrific speed and pressure through the crack. And the crack was widening. Already the water in the dome was boiling up around Captain Keiichi's legs.

Sherry: Keiichi was now a lobster.

The dome was giving way, and he was trapped in it!

oOo

Sherry: *pumping her fist* Gimme an O!

All: O!

Sherry: Gimme an O!

All: O!

Sherry: Gimme an O!

All: O!

Sherry: What does that spell?

Gio: The end of ya as cheer captain!

Belldandy was in no mood to play the role of the "damsel in distress" waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her.

Gio: *flat* Yeah, after the second time or so it starts gettin’ old, don’t it?

Sherry: Well, maybe she should spice it up from time to time.

Although less gifted in the art of escapism than Keiichi, she was trained for this kind of situation in the Secret Service.

Sherry: Huh. Maybe this Belldandy really was trained by WOOHP.

She began her escape attempt, and luckily enough, the little gray men had tied her with ropes made of vines and not with real metal handcuffs.

Gio: I mean, if they did, that’d be too much like this scene in the anime.

And not only that, but in the room she was currently held, there was no shortage of machines with partcilarly sharp edges.

Peorth: *blanching* Bell, I know what you’re thinking, and that’s no way to get out of this fanfic!

Skuld, meanwhile set off to the jungle in search of Belldandy. She had to rely on her analytical skills in the hope of finding footprints, a thread of her outfit, or even a chemical secretion.

Peorth: Does she hope to smell her fear, like a particularly perceptive dog?

Her eyes could instantly analyze her environment millimeter by millimeter, and her ears could perceive all sounds up to two hundred meters around her.

She had seen something unusual in this jungle and headed for its location, in hopes of course to find Belldandy there. The robot girl then saw a man walking towards a helicopter.

Gio: Unless it’s one of them naturally-occurrin’ jungle helicopters I hear so much about.

She did not have time to catch up before the aircraft took off, but she could then see the track that led to the spot where the helicopter took off.

This track, which had nothing to do there, could lead Skuld to Belldandy or something very interesting anyway, so, she decided to follow it.

Sherry: Wouldn’t the footprints just have started and ended right at the landing spot?

Gio: He was takin’ that chopper for walkies.

Meanwhile, the interstellar agent had managed to cut the vines,

Gio: After bleedin’ herself out on every sharp surface.

but the door was locked from the outside, and there was no other exit either. The only solution was to find a way to open it, and the easiest method was by drawing the attention of the guards, as stupid and suicidal as it may have sounded.

Gio: Welp, good to see I’m callin’ all the bright ‘n’ sunny riffs.

"Right, well it's not complicated: I will just break everything," she decided herself.

She began to disconnect the electrical cables, destroying instruments etc ...

Sherry: She even broke this list before too much stuff could get named!

Moments later, she heard the footsteps of Wrecker men who crowded into the hallway. Their instruments had indicated a loss of energy in this part of the ship and they understood that their prisoner was to be beginning to stir.

Gio: Assumin’ Belldandy was the size of a tyrannosaurus and made of tool steel.

They were 7 to arrive. When they opened the door of the improvised cell, Belldandy returned in their loading, holding it in front of a metal plate to protect her against any attack.

Sherry: Lucky for her, they had all this Vibranium just sitting around!

The surprise played beautifully, as the guards were completely stunned and fell to the ground as a result of the charge, allowing Belldandy to pick up a gun and run away. The young woman was protecting her back with the metal plate,

Gio: She’s usin’ a metal buttplate? I thought she’d use a foldin’ stock instead.

which she dropped when she reached the end of the corridor in order to run faster.

After leaving the ship, and before she even managed to run a few meters, she was hit in the leg and fell on the ground.

Peorth: *nearly falling out of her seat* Gah!

Sherry: What did Belldandy do to get this streak of awful luck?!

Locals stationed outside had quickly realized that their captive managed to escape and one of them threw a sort of boomerang to stop her, which successfully hit her. Then, the guards caught up with her and captured her while she was down.

Gio: What’s happened, Bell?! Bell? Beeeeell!

"She has already done too much damage. She deserves to be executed." Decided one of them raising his weapon.

"Belldandy! DROP TO THE GROUND! "Skuld shouted throwing a "Skuld Special" bomb towards the man who threatened Bell. Three hooded men were "blown" off the scene by the explosion like ninepins.

Gio: Super Smash Goddess!

Upon explosion, however, the Skuld Bomb doesn't produce shrapnel, but it just creates a short ranged, yer very strong burst of compressed air,

Gio: *old salt accent* Arrr, it be yer very strong burst indeed, matey.

along with smoke and heat. Which is more than enough to knock someone unconscious for several minutes.

Gio: Huh! She’s gonna bang and clear like she’s serious!

As for the other four men, Skuld was already moving in to nautralize them.

Gio: *snickering* Hah! Yeah, she’s gonna aliminate ‘em.

Sherry: Tarminate them, too.

Peorth: Oblitarate them, perhaps.

"STAND AND FIGHT MEN! AFTER ALL THIS IS ONLY A ROBOT!" Roared the chief guard who was courageously standing behind these men.

Peorth: Bravely electing his men to take Skuld’s wrath for him.

Gio: *perking up* Hey, she’s even gettin’ the “he’s only one man” action hero treatment! Maybe Skuld’s got the chops after all!

Skuld, who was advancing on them with a rather scary look, was intercepted by the natives' , unmodified wood had no effect against one of the strongest alloys in the galaxy, leaving the Captain's sister totally unharmed.

Belldandy, meanwhile, had recovered the weapon she had dropped when the boomerang caused her to trip,

Sherry: What, were they throwing banana peels at her?

and turned it against the Wrecker men. However, it wasn't possible to aim directly at them, since Skuld stnading in the way, so, she turned her shots on the natives who replied.

Sherry: With shouts of “Ow!”

And the moment she did, the silver girl retreated to protect Belldandy, as the native's weapons could be fatal for her.

Peorth: So wood could easily kill her.

Sherry: She’s Belldandy “Joker” Moreau.

Stepping between Bell and the series of boomerangs that now flew toward her, Skuld attempted to block them.… but never got the chance, as the boomerangs were intercepted midflight by some well placed shots.

Gio: *blowing out the muzzle of a smoking pistol* Well, somebody had to move this farce along!

Initially, Urd had really been tempted to let Skuld go by herself, but after a short reflection (in fact, just in time to see the cloth in her hand that reminded her that she had to do house chores) Urd changed her mind. After all, she couldn't stay back in the "Space-Goddess", knowing that Belldandy was in danger, nor was she going to let her metal sister find Keiichi's future wife on her own.

Gio: How the heck would she know that?

Peorth: This is Urd, after all – she can’t help herself when these two are involved with one another, even if they’re all…erm, apparently just time-displaced doppelgangers.

Most importantly though: she was not going to spend another hour cleaning the ship if she had an excuse to avoid it.

Peorth: She was going to keep the cute maid outfit on, though; she thought it brought out her hips.

"DROP ALL YOUR WEAPONS OR I WILL SHOOT ALL YOU !" Roared the shapeshifter.

Seeing their smaller allies fleeing in terror, thanks to the indestructible robot girl, as well as Urd threatening them, the bandits opted for a strategic retreat ... Except a man who had remained on the ground, stunned by the bomb that Skuld was launched earlier.

"You're not hurt Bell?" Urd asked.

Gio: Nothin’ hurt but her dignity.

Peorth: Assuming she still has any to go around.

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry I caused you all this trouble." She said simply.

"I thank you. You cannot imagine how much I hate to clean, do the dishes… and the rest of that kind of prehistoric stuff.

Gio: When the Disinfectasaurus Rex ruled the earth!

I could escape that hell and now it's Skuld who's got to finish the job. Thank you Bell." Urd said without the slightest embarrassment.

"AND WHY SHOULD I TERMINATE YOUR HOUSE CHORES?" cried the indignant Skuld.

Gio: Something, something, Kyle Reese.

Despite what she said though, the robot actually hated household chores even more than Urd. Although it was too silly, the main reasong behind it, was that it made her feel like a stupid machine like one of those vacuum cleaners or irons that could be found in museums.

Sherry: So housework hasn’t evolved much centuries into the future, huh?

Gio: Swiffer technology is LosTech.

Something that was both boring and humiliating.

"I came to save you and fix your mistake of allowing Bell to get captured. And you totally owe me for this service, to say the least." Retorted Urd.

"You saved me my foot!

Sherry (as Skuld): I never thought I’d find it again!

I had the situation well under control and Bell had already escaped by herself, so, you've done nothing at all!" Insisted Skuld.

Gio: Ignorin’ the wood boomerang stickin’ outta her legs right now, or somethin’.

For once, the verbal sparring went no further, as Belldandy, who rarely raised her voice for such a trivial thing as house chores,

Gio: Instead, did this:

[Gio tries to clack Peorth with his gold again. This time Peorth sees it coming, snatches Gio’s coin out of midair, and flicks it back to him after a flashy set of tricks]

Peorth: *pointing to Gio* Action hero. *pointing to herself* Goddess.

Gio: *grinning, thumbs up* You’re alright, lady.

interrupted this childish argument; considering that she wasn't in the mood after excaping death."Stop your quarrelling, I'll do the household chores you were talking about."

"Really?" Asked the two sisters at the same time, both surprised and delighted by this offer.

"Yes.

Peorth (as Belldandy): Well, it’s the only thing I have left to prove I’m who the fic says I am…

First of all, it was my fault that I got myself captured, and secondly, I like cleaning, cooking, housekeeping and all this kind of things.

Peorth: See?

Sherry: *snickering* Right about now, we’ll be introduced to her deputy, it’s Holy Bell in a rubber bodysuit…

Cleaning up everything, and making others happy if possible, is one of my greatest joys that I rarely get to do, because of my work. Caring for someone and cleaning... I surely did that all the time, in another life." Bell said, smiling.

Peorth: Almost as if it was one which made much more sense and that she fit much better into, or something.

Naturally, Skuld and Urd weren't going to object to such a generous proposal, so, for the most part they remained silent.

Still, the conversation was interrupted as the black ship took off and…. plunged underwater.

Sherry: That’s not because of the underwater mines, their pilots just stink.

Given that the Wrecker men had not made repairs on their devices, they went ahead and changed it into a submarine instead.

All: *singing* Changeformers! Less than you’d expect!

"Damn, they fled." Groaned Urd.

"There was no report of a second ship," remarked the robot girl.

"When I was their prisoner, I was told that the other was already operational. I guess they meant they had already converted it to operate like a submarine." Bell explained.

Gio (as Belldandy): Except for the flying part, but if we’re all playing fast and loose here…

A groan was heard,

Sherry: Look, I know we’re all tired, but you have to riff with some style!

as one of the men was regaining his consciousness after being knocked out cold, and left lying on the ground.

"Oh, at least it wasn't a complete loss. We still have one prisoner and we'll make him talk." said Urd wickedly.

Peorth (as Urd): We’ll ask him really rudely.

oOo

Sherry: *singing* -klahoma, where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain!

Captain Keiichi, trapped in the submarine dome far down in the Bamean sea, realized the deadliness of his peril. The water that was shooting down from the severed tube-way and in through the cracks in the wall already swirled to his knees.

Gio: *checking his watch* This is the slowest rushing water ever!

Sherry: The oceans on this planet must be molasses or something.

The walls, weakened by the flame that had played on them from outside, were slowly cracking further. Solid streams of water roared in under terrific pressure. It was only a matter of minutes before the whole dome collapsed!

Sherry: A matter of, like, eighty to two hundred, at this pace.

"There must be some way out of this hell-trap!" Keiichi Morisato muttered, glancing swiftly around.

Gio: Huh. Must mean he’s on the 5th layer.

Peorth: Watch, he’s going to get beaten into a fine paste by V1 coming the other way.

"Keiichi, my boy, unless you can think of something quickly, your number is up."

Sherry: Look around you, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

Gio: A lathe?! Get off the line, Sherry!

Keiichi knew that when the dome collapsed, the tens of thousands of tons of water that would smash in would reduce him to a pulp. If he only had an undersea-suit! But there was none here, nothing but the Proton tools abandoned by the workers.

Gio: *sneering* Some signature weapon of Captain Future’s if everyone and their dog’s got proton tech.

"The buckets!" Captain Keiichi exclaimed suddenly. "I'm a space-struck idiot not to have thought of it before!"

Gio (as Keiichi): I’ll throw up in one while I’m panicking, then think of a way out!

He leaped and grabbed up a heavy Proton chisel, designed to gouge through rock. Grasping the tool, Keiichi ran through the rising water toward the wrecked conveyor-chain of buckets.

Sherry: Speaking of Ultrakill, he must be hoping that jackhammer can just recoil jump him up the shaft.

The solid stream of water pouring down the tubeway from above plunged down at Captain Keiichi, knocking him from his feet, as he sought to cut away two of the big metal buckets with his tool. He finally succeeded in the attempt. Dragging the two buckets through the rising waters, he set one on its bottom, got into it, and reached out for the other bucket.

[Everyone is struck dumb and goggles at this]

Gio: Wait, he ain’t…

There was an ominous cracking sound from the walls of the dome, audible even over the roar of inshooting waters. Keiichi glanced up and saw that the whole north wall of the great caisson was now bulging inward, from the base to the top of the dome.

Sherry: So what I’m seeing here is that this entire mine was one errant dent from this happening.

The realization that the whole dome would collapse within a few minutes at most, spurred Captain Keiichi to accelerated activity. He grasped the second big bucket and, turning it with its open top down, placed it on top of the bucket in which he stood.

Peorth: He’s…

Sherry: Oh God. He’s pulling an Indy.

The two buckets thus formed a large metal barrel. In the darkness inside it, Keiichi Morisato swiftly drew his proton-pistol, set the control of its beam, and then turned the pale ray upon the juncture of the rims of his buckets.

Sherry: *looking around* Are we sure this water is still rising? What’s it filling?!

The ray started to melt the metal almost at once. The two buckets fused together solidly at their rims. And Keiichi played the beam around the whole rim slowly, fusing every inch of the two rims solidly together.

Peorth: Oh! Right. Welding them together. We wouldn’t want this to get too implausible, now.

The smoke and smell of molten metal were almost overpowering inside the makeshift barrel.

Gio: He shouldn’t have set his proton gun to Fart.

Keiichi could see only by the pale flash of the ray itself. Yet he kept grimly on, well aware that it was his one slender chance of escape.

Captain Keiichi's eyes streamed,

Sherry: Twitch Plays: Ah My Space Goddess.

his lungs gasping for pure air, when he finished welding the two buckets together a few moments later. He crouched now inside a strong, one-piece, air-tight metal barrel that he had made from the buckets.

"Can't breathe this air in here for many minutes before I suffocate!" he choked to himself.

Gio (as Keiichi): Which is why I’m spending all the oxygen in here jawjacking!

"If the barrel doesn't escape when the dome let's go…."

Keiichi was staking all on the chance that the barrel would be swept out of the collapsing dome when its walls gave way.

Gio: And not that it’d be crushed if the water fell on him from above, or filled too fast, or somethin’.

"Here she goes!" he muttered tensely an instant later, bracing himself with arms and legs.

Sherry: Not his own. He had robo-limbs installed for the occasion.

There was a loud crash! With a scream of rending metal, the walls of the dome were torn asunder by the weight of waters, and the sea rushed in. Keiichi felt his barrel flung like a bubble against a wall,

Gio: Popping immediately.

a shock that nearly stunned him. The boiling sea inside the shattered dome carried his makeshift diving-bell dizzily around.

Sherry: Captain Concussions!

Peorth: *nauseated* They’re going to crack his escape capsule open and pour him out like the yolk of an egg…

"Look! The well is collapsing!." Vase Avam said, amazed, as he was convinced that this would not happen.

"There's, there another way out of here?" Chihiro asked.

Sherry: *singing* Said the joker to the thief~

Ootaki shook his head, negatively.

He felt the queer barrel bump against the top of the dome, floating up as he had known it would, due to its air-content.

Sherry: Wait, the top of the dome?! Why didn’t he try this to go up the shaft?

Captain Keiichi's heart plummeted. His plan hadn't succeeded. The barrel had not escaped from the dome, but was still trapped in it. And the air in the barrel was already almost unbreathable.

"Can't complain, I suppose," Keiichi gasped. "I've played the game out to the end, and nobody can do more. But I hate to go out like this and leave Wrecker at work…."

Peorth: It would be horrifically anticlimactic for us, at least.

His lungs seemed parched, bursting, his brain spinning as the foul air overcame him. He could feel the barrel, trapped down here in the sea-filled, shattered dome,

Sherry: I mean, assuming the dome doesn’t just slam its crumpled top into the sea floor because all that water’s pressing down…

bumping to and fro as the currents rubbed it against the roof.

Keiichi Morisato's darkening mind flashed back over the brilliant career that now seemed about to be extinguished. Pictures flashed through his brain,

Gio: Mostly, them embarrassin’ photos from the Christmas party.

of his boyhood on the moon, of his first trip to other worlds with his sisters, of peril and excitement and combat from one end of the Galaxy to the other.

"Hope Chihiro, Megumi, Skuld and Urd get Wrecker," he choked. "Looks like I…."

At that moment, his dimming senses became aware of a new motion on the part of the barrel.

Sherry: Hip gyration.

Instead of rubbing along the roof of the broken dome, it was now shooting wildly upward.

Gio: We’re on an express elevator to Heaven! Going up!

Sherry: Wait, isn’t that what Keiichi was trying to avoid?

"Oh my gods!" Captain Keiichi cried. "It's got out!"

His barrel, carried to and fro under the roof of the wrecked dome by the currents, had finally escaped through one of the great cracks and was shooting up to the surface like a bubble!

Gio: *singing* If you want to view paradise~

Keiichi, half-unconscious, felt the metal around him grow hot from friction.

Sherry: Kinetic heating, underwater?

Gio: Dude moves fast! That’s gotta be how yanno it’s Keiichi!

He felt the barrel rush up out of the sea into the air, poise a moment, then fall back down with a smacking splash to the sea, and float on its surface. With his last, waning strength, Captain Keiichi pulled trigger of his proton-pistol.

Peorth: Welding himself to the barrel by mistake.

The beam tore out through the metal side of his improvised barrel, after a few moments. Through the little opening splashed some water, and also blessed, pure fresh air.

Keiichi had to wait until he could gulp many breaths of the new air into his starved lungs, before he set about getting out of his floating barrel. Using the proton-beam, he cut out the top of the barrel.

Sherry: Next step: fashioning a rudimentary set of oars.

Gio: An outboard motor and a prop.

Captain Keiichi found himself floating on the nighted Bamean sea,

Peorth: Now arise, Sir Ocean of Bama!

tossing up and down on the great tidal waves. It was completely dark except for the bright stars.

Sherry: Like Jake Gyllenhaal, and Kirsten Dunst.

Then Keiichi saw the lights and black bulk of the floating-depot of the destroyed submarine mine nearby. He dived into the chilly waters, and swam with powerful strokes toward the floating-depot, on which men were running about, with shouts of excitement and dismay.

Ootaki saw Keiichi draw his dripping figure out of the waters.

Sherry: This is when he takes off his bodysuit and reveals a pristine tux underneath, right?

The superintendent seemed unable to believe his own eyes, and Vase Avam, the Denephean mine boss, was similarly stunned.

Only Chihiro was not impressed.

Gio: She’d seen worse.

She had faith in Keiichi and his way out of the gravest dangers.

Gio: See?

"Captain Keiichi!" Ootaki cried. "Why, we thought you dead long ago down there! How in the name of all that's holy did you get out?"

Keiichi explained his stratagem. And admiration near to awe showed in the faces of Ootaki and the Denephean.

Peorth: Or perhaps faces of incredulity. They look so similar.

"No wonder they say you're unbeatable, Captain Keiichi!" exclaimed Ootaki impulsively. "Lord, man, but I'm glad to see you. This would have been an even blacker disaster if you had perished in it."

"The disaster's black enough," Keiichi said tersely.

Gio: This whole fic’s been set to Dark Mode.

Sherry: They claim it’s better for their eyes; they really just want to look like an old-timey hackerman.

"One of the three gravium mines here on Bama completely ruined!"

Vase Avam, the Denephean, made a sound of anger and stared fiercely at the scared gray Bamean miners cowering nearby.

"If I had the spies among us who are sabotaging our domes, I'd kill them by slow torture!" he exclaimed.

Gio: Man, he’s milkin’ the heck outta that whole “legal immunity due to emergency” thing.

"That dome was weakened and wrecked from outside," Captain Keiichi told him.

"A cutting flame was used from outside to weaken the dome walls, and to sever the tubeway."

The Denephean stared.

"It was done from outside? But who could there be out in the deep sea to do it?

Gio: Mr. Limpet’s gone dirty!

You surely don't think it was the legendary "Demon of the ocean" the Bameans talk about?"

"Men in sea-suits could have approached the dome secretly from outside, and have done it!" Chihiro exclaimed.

"Yes, they could have," Captain Keiichi agreed swiftly. "But such men would have to be brought out here to this region of the sea, and taken away again, by a boat.

"Where's the boat? We ought to search the sea all around here." Said the Colonel.

Sherry: Oh yeah, that’ll only take a minute.

Gio: They could do it with all none of that sonar that this facility that can’t see out here in the lightless deep has, I guess.

"Let us return to the "Space-Goddess ". From there we'll see." Keiichi decided. When he finally got back, he saw something which troubled him: for some unknown reason Skuld and Megumi were strapped to a table

Gio: *peculiar accent* Do you expect me to talk?

while Urd sipped a drink quietly and Belldandy was wearing an apron cleaning the vessel.

[Everyone snickers]

Peorth: Alright, Belldandy, you might be overplaying your part just a bit.

Sherry: I’ll give her some lessons on dialing it back.

"What happened ?" He asked.

"Belldandy was captured when she was exploring the jungle and Skuld got lost while trying to find her. Heeding my courage, I've managed to save both of them, while they were about to be killed by the enemy" Urd explained.

Sherry (as Urd): Now, can we move this along? I need to return these gurneys before the hospital knows I’ve been raiding their ambulances.

"THIS IS NOT AT ALL WHAT HAPPENED !" Skuld shouted.

"Well, in other words, something happened in the jungle to Bell and Skuld. You saw an opportunity to escape the household chores,

Gio: Household chores that needed doin’ in the middle of a world-savin’ mission.

Peorth: Keiichi Morisato is Captain Priorities!

and run to them without warning, expecting that afterwards Belldandy would offer to do your chores out of gratitude. It is something like this?" Keiichi guessed.

"It's exactly that." Skuld confirmed with a grim smile.

"Actually Captain, it is true that I was captured, and Skuld, as well as Urd arrived at the right moment. It makes me happy to be able to thank them by helping them now," said Belldandy.

Keicihi looked a little better the ship and saw that it was cleaner than ever. After all, Belldandy was a true prodigy when it came to cleaning.

Sherry: I’m the disinfector! Twisted disinfector!

Gio: I’m the grime remover, cleanliness improver, yeah!

Skuld then gave him a somewhat more detailed report of Belldandy's rescue, and capturing one of Wrecher's men.

Gio: You idiot, you haven’t captured one of them, you’ve captured his stunt double!

"If this is right, then they have sent two submarines into the ocean's depths, ready to destroy the last two wells while the fleet only monitors the situation from space." Said the captain.

Sherry: Doesn’t that kind of ruin the whole fact there’s no sign of the bad guys coming in and out?

Peorth: Some search of the oceans they managed!

Indeed, the ship's communicator began to sound. 'This is Chihiro, return to the patrol area' it called.

"Captain, the No. 2 well has been attacked and destroyed by unknown devices. All our units have converged to well 3 but we may not arrive in time" she said it.

Gio: No, no, the phrase is “you said it!”

"Go quickly." Keiichi answered.

The two ships/submarines of Wrecker were now reunited.

Sherry: *singing* And it feels so good!

Gio: Now, combine into Super Wrecker Sea Robo!

"Bravo leader, you have destroyed well No. 2" said the captain of the first ship.

"Shut up, you bum.

Gio: You’re gonna eat lightnin’, and you’re gonna crap thunder!

Why did you let Ki Iri in the hands of Keiichi crew? He could talk. I order you to kill all them, including Ki Iri." Wrecker ordered.

The No. 3 well was closer to the "Space-Goddess" compared to the No. 2 well, so, when Wrecker arrived, he was forced to confront Captain Keiichi.

Gio: Whoa, uh, I didn’t know we were gonna skip right to this.

Peorth: *fiddling with her clothes* Oh, I’m not presentable!

The fight was fairly short though, as the two ships had undergone sifnificant modifications to go underwater, which severely decreased their mobility in the atmosphere.

Sherry: Switching to the big propeller for propulsion wasn’t their smartest idea for spaceflight.

As a result, Skuld had no trouble avoiding their attacks and easily returned fire.

The first enemy ship was forced to take refuge under water, where the "Space-Goddess" couldn't follow, while Keiichi opened fire with the Proton canon on the second ships' engines.

Gio: Costin’ them thousands outta pocket for crank and conrod replacements.

Peorth: Coming from Keiichi, that would be harsh.

The attack's immediate result was to freeze the ship in place, since its enjines were rendered inoperable. Still, the anti-gravity system, based on technology similar to that of anti-gravity belts, held it in the air.

Sherry: It doesn’t need the engines working to operate, that’s handy.

Gio: Don’t leave the lights on, though, or you’ll drain the batteries.

"Perfect, with a little luck, Wrecker is on board. Perhaps we will be able to capture him" Keiichi said with a smile.

His victory was short lived however, as he could barely see someone leave the ship, before that exploded.

Gio: Welp, he blew himself up. Guess Keiichi can bum off early.

Peorth: Wrecker shouldn’t have made his disguise out of sodium.

Something that was made more evident due to that indivicual's purple cape, despite the long distance between the ships.

Sherry: It doubles as a parachute!

Peorth: That must be quite the loud shade of purple.

Keiichi quickly realized that this must've been Wrecker himself. He fled before detonating his ship to prevent his men from being captured.

Gio: Betcha he loses so much cash on havin’ to train so many new hires.

"It's certainly Wrecker, so, let's go after him. Skuld, lead me to him. Urd, you come with me. We stand a better chance as a team" Keiichi ordered.

Gio (as Keiichi): Bell, I need you to not get kidnapped again.

Peorth (as Belldandy): I’ll do my be-HEY!

The boy then jumped into the water, while Urd plunged, after a magnificent backflip as if she were in an Olympic pool, and with a crowd to admire her performance, too.

Sherry: The demon judge gave her a 3.

Peorth: Before Hild threatened them back up to an 8.7.

When they arrived on site, all that, Keiichi and Urd found was the cape. The individual who wore it was missing.

Gio: They found it next to his floating swim trunks.

Then, they turned their attention to the second enemy ship that hidden underwater and saw several figures who were still inside before it sank into the depths. The water was very clear too, so, despite the distance, Keiichi noticed something curious.

"They had no diving suits," he said to Belldandy.

Peorth: A crew diving with their submarine? Unheard of!

Gio: Dude, that ain’t a submarine cabriolet they rode in on!

"Are you really sure of what you saw? Maybe they were objects which produced strange shapes and unusual colors?"

Sherry: Villainous submarines and really cool rave clubs!

Peorth: It is remarkably nice of Wrecker to feature enormous panoramic glass panels to evidently let our heroes see all this at ship-to-ship warfare distances.

"It was a weird sight. Could it be the ocean demon of legend?" Keiichi wondered.

Belldandy looked at him in amazement, given that, Captain Keiichi was the last person she would expect to be superstitious.

Peorth: He’s also the last person one would expect to be Curt Newton, but we’re well past that point now, aren’t we?

"Captain, you do not really believe that it's a demon do you? Angels and Demons do not exist."

Gio: Guess it depends on how much ya like Dan Brown.

"On Earth, yes, but what the natives call "demon of ocean" might refer to something real, but certainly not "magic", that I agree. Who knows for sure?" Asked the captain.

Peorth: Argh, the irony is so caked-on in this fic that I can taste rust!

"We only know that there is a statue representing him just before one of the native villages" Belldandy replied.

Before he could push his reflection further, the captured man from before began to speak in his sleep.

"Glrk, kalk bluklik keleok Klag".

Gio: Bah-weep-graaaaagnah wheep ni-ni bong!

Sherry and Peorth: *chorusing* Bah-weep-graaaaagnah wheep ni-ni bong!

"Captain, Bell, come quickly. Listen to what he says," Megumi said.

"Blouf, glrk, lokoek Klag"

Sherry: *singing, high-pitched* Ooh, ee, ooh ah-ah! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang!

"I speak several languages but not this" simply said Belldandy.

Gio: She slept through the courses on Gibberish as a Second Language.

"It is not surprising. I've learned hundreds of languages in my training undercover, and I do not know this neither," Urd said.

Sherry: Scatman John might be able to interpret this.

"Yet he was speaking our language, when we met him. You are sure it truly is a language? It is not just moaning?"Asked the interstellar agent.

"Glrk, lkokkol bluklik Klag"

Gio: I don’t like this Minions sequel, you guys…

"I don't think so, unless he has a "logical groan" that appears to be a consistent language as he repeats some "words" he employs. If those were any random moans, he wouldn't repeat exactly the same sounds in a structured manner," explained the Brain.

Sherry: He’s having that dream where he’s naked and falling out of a plane, onto his graduation.

"He spoke our language when he was conscious. Now that he is no more, he must be trying to use his mother language.

Gio: Or maybe his second cousin twice removed language.

So, we'll have to do some analysis to figure out what he's saying. Megumi, Skuld, prepare the equipment, including radios and genetic analyzes" said the boy.

Gio: Keiichi needs some tunes to do his DNA analysis to.

Urd had gone through the stunned man's pockets.

Sherry: Cleaning out his wallet.

"Nothing here. But the identity-disc he wears gives his name: Ki Iri."

The Brain looked at Urd.

Peorth (as Megumi): Put his money back!

Sherry (as Urd): Darn.

"Can you check that name over the communicator with Chihiro in Amphitrite? Find out all you can about a certain Ki Iri, Human."

Peorth: Well, that’s rude! Call her by her name! And…erm, well, perhaps this Urd is more an android than a baseline human…

The fearsome Wrecker, is shrouded in mystery that allowed him until now to carry on with his plans. He only needs to destroy the last well, and production of gravium ceases, causing galactic chaos to an unimaginable scale. Will Captain Keiichi succeed to discover his secrets in time?

Gio: *pulling out his coin* Call it in the air, ladies!

Sherry: Huh, we’re out of text for this chapter. Let’s take a break!

[Everyone files out]
***
Gio: Alright! Looks like we’re closin’ in on the home stretch of this. Two more chapters and that’s all she wrote.

Sherry: Say, before we continue, I wanted to bring it up again.

Gio: Bring what up again?

Sherry: That thing that’s been bothering me…well, let me be blunt: Captain Future can’t really be this goofy, can it? This stuff seems like the silliest sci-fi on Earth! How does a pulp series like this survive World War II, get adapted twice in Japan in the span of 15 years, and then get a fully-endorsed revival by Allen Steele just a few years ago? It had to have been good first, right?

Peorth: I believe you have something to research after all. Go into the archives, then tell me what you think.